The Irritable Foul-Mouth Syndrome
Dr. James L. Snyder
Profanity is not an acceptable part of my life, and I do not appreciate others exercising their right to profanity while in my company. A little respect, please!
Last week, for instance, I made somebody mad. I forget what I did or did not do provoking such irate anger toward me. After all, I am a great person when you get to know me. As this person began his rant toward me, I noticed he began using words and phrases that did not make sense and did not fit into the sentences he was using.
He insisted I do something to myself anatomically impossible. Perhaps he did not pay attention in anatomy class in high school.
When I understood what he was saying, I said, “How do you expect me to do what you’re telling me to do?”
Looking at me rather inquisitively, he said, “What?”
So I repeated it. “How can I do what you said to do which is anatomically impossible for me to do? Don’t you know anatomy?”
“What?” I could see that not only was his language in great deficiency but his hearing was not quite up to par either. Not understanding what I was saying he got even angrier and insisted again I do that which is anatomically impossible.
Then he took his rant in another direction, which caused me some real concern.
So, in the middle of his rage, I held up my hands and said, “Wait. I believe you got everything wrong here.”
Once more, he stammered out, “What?”
“I’m not who you think I am.”
He stared at me with a confused look on his face and mumbled something I could not understand so I thought it was an opportunity to explain the situation to him.
“Despite my face,” I said as calmly as the situation warranted, “I am not a dog and neither is my mother. What in the world gave you the impression that my mother was a dog? You don’t even know my mother.”
“What?” he said getting red in the face, “I wasn’t talking about your mother!”
“You said quite arrogantly,” staring him right in the face, “that I was a son of a female dog and I’m not.”
“Say what?” was all he could utter.
Being confused and not knowing what to do next, he went in another direction and began suggesting specific travel plans in a very adamant way that I go to that place, which is really, really hot.
I could see, the more I talked with him, or should I say, at him, the more confused he got. I felt sorry for this guy whose vocabulary was limited to greasy slang words that really had no meaning.
For me, the only way to get away from all of this irritable foul language syndrome is to go to the Bible. Jesus made it quite clear when he said, “Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man” (Matthew 15:11).What comes out of my mouth reveals my heart and the kind of person I really am.
Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, PO Box 831313, Ocala, FL 34483. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 1-866-552-2543 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or website www.jamessnyderministries.com.